Series: Biblical Love, I Cor. 13, Love is Patient

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Why study Biblical love?

Here is the answer, from the Bible.

The greatest commandment is this, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.”  And the second is like it.  “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

On these two hinge all the laws and the prophets.

 

“Now these three remain, faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.”  I Cor. 13

So obviously, I do not write these posts because I have it all together.  And I do not write this post because I am a perfectly patient person.  To say so would be an outright lie.  Rather, I post this as a fellow learner, a fellow traveler, one who needs this Word in my life desperately, for I know the reality of my humanity and the need for Christ and His Word in my life.  

And so, onwards.  Let’s look at


“Love is Patient.”


Definition of Patience:

Noun

The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.

I think I am ready to stop right there.  How about you?  Seriously.  Accept trouble or suffering without getting angry or upset??????

 

I’m toast.  How many times a day do I become impatient.

So before we go on, let’s think about something REALLY important.

Learning about this definition of love is important.  This is GOD’s standard.  And I really care about God’s standard, because He is the One I want to live for.

But pretty much, I know I am going to fail, so rather than let that discourage me, it needs to make me run to God’s grace and mercy.  And He is wonderfully gracious and merciful.  And it is His kindness that will lead us to repentance.  When we fail we can run to Him, hide our faces in his shirt so to speak, be assured of His wonderful love for us, and than we can continue on.

So, I have run into God’s grace and mercy realizing I will never be able to do this perfectly.  And I am ready to keep going.  How about you?  Please run to Him first before you continue, realizing how much he loves you and accepts you.  He is not shocked.  He knows everything.  But he is glad you want to be more loving, that pleases  Him.

So Lord Jesus, because our finite efforts no matter how small and imperfect please you, we continue on.

St. Augustine said, “Patience is the companion of wisdom.”

In order to be patient with others, look for others’ needs.  Let them ahead of you, and let their needs come first.  Phil. 2 says “Look out not only for your own interests but all the interest of others.”  Patience is not thinking so much about our own needs and rights.  It is being kind to others, being in self control for everyone’s benefit.

Patience can stem from empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.  Empathy is something that I definitely want to learn.

Some other tips about being patient

  • Keep your Emotional Perspective
    • Anticipate the other person’s emotional state.
    • Tune in to the other person’s behavior.
    • Use instructive statements.
    • Use relaxation techniques.
  • Be a Supportive Listener
    • Acknowledge Your Acceptance of What the Speaker is Saying
    • Do not judge or criticize
    • This does not signify agreement
  • Take a day where you make patience your goal for the entire day
    • Make a concerted effort to take your time
    • Think about everything you do, be mindful and live in the moment.
    • Learn to do it on a daily basis.
  • Help the Speaker to Clarify Thoughts, Feelings, and Ideas
    • Repeat what the other person says.
    • Paraphrase what you think the person really means.
    • Share your perceptions of the situation.
    • Ask purposeful questions.
  • Practice delaying gratification
    • If we’re patient, pause and go over what we want to say we can avoid hurting or offending others.

So, I know that this is probably more information than I can fully absorb so I am going to try take baby steps.

My “small” goals

-Learn to be a good listener with my kids and my husband and my friends in my small groups.  This means getting off the electric device and really listening with my kids and hubby.  This means not thinking through what I am going to say next but really entering into what they are saying.

– Speak gently and not harshly

-Bear with the weaknesses and failings of others with more grace.

Well, I already feel a little overwhelmed writing these goals out and I am embarrassed writing them out in front of you because I know that while these are truly the desire of my heart I will fail.  But friend, let’s keep each other accountable anyway, not shocked and disgusted when we fail, but giving each other grace and mercy and the time and freedom to learn and continue on by God’s grace.  And let’s ask the Lord to change our heart and keep our heart sensitive to obey His Holy Spirit.

Time to remind myself why I am studying this again.

The greatest commandment is this, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.”  And the second is like it.  “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

On these two hinge all the laws and the prophets.

“Now these three remain, faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.”  I Cor. 13